For most women their relationship with their mother is complex. Characteristics that would be valued in most other relationships can cause conflict and emotional outbursts in the mother-daughter one. For example: she knows you so well that verbal communication is not necessary, a great thing to have with, say, your partner, but you don’t always want your mother to know your feelings. Therefore you sometimes reply with a sarcastic ‘thanks mom’ when she says you don’t look so well. Where it really gets complicated is that you actually do want your mother to know you feel bad. In fact, you just want to burst into tears and ask her to hold you, yet you choose the avoidance route … and now she feels rejected. Other characteristics of the mother-daughter relationship that can translate into conflict are care, honesty and concern (read: over-protective, criticism and nosiness).
But there is a reason why mom is on everyone’s thank-you list, and that reason is that mothers fulfil a deeply spiritual role in society. They have the responsibility to teach us about loving and accepting ourselves, having compassion for others and seeing beauty around us. Without these emotional and spiritual qualities our society will be cold, callous and dull. There won’t be any progress or development, because recognising beauty inspires us to create, and having unconditional love and support drives us to follow our dreams.
So now we celebrate Mother’s day. It’s difficult not to knock the day completely; as with most other ‘official’ special days we are bombarded with bad advertisements and end up going through the motions to prevent resentment, guilt or conflict of any kind. So this year, why not avoid the Hollywood-style clichés? Instead of going the chocolate and sentimental card route, take time to think about you relationship with your mother. You don’t have to share your thoughts with her on Mother’s day. You could just use the day to think about her and share your thoughts later. Don’t feel guilty if the ‘world’s greatest mom’ card irritates you. Instead, this year, celebrate the uniqueness of your relationship.